Haiz... why am i always alone... I am alone for atachment. I just feel that now in year 3 the staff expect us to know how to do the skill, but actually i feel incompetent. Today i started my one week attachment in ward 58 which is for general surgery. Our clinical instructor said we must do all the dressings. The more the merrier.... there were 8 dressings in my room. So Jocelyn (the new friend I made from group 26) did 3 and i did 3 . But can you imagine starting tomorrow we are not together (I am in afternoon and she is in morning). She will have to do almost all dressings herself and the same goes for me when i do morning.



I find in this ward I am really forced to be task orientated... I did not even have time to rest even a teeny weenie bit. Oh dear , i am very scared I will become a nurse that does not care about the patient... I really had to squeeze time to go for break... but I told myself I have to go (I must love myself or how can I love others)... haha!!!



There is really so much to learn and so little time... I must not procrastinate... Sometimes i really feel like God likes to test me to the limit.. Like for instance, he made me fail my assessment but he made me learn something important too... that life still has to go on. He took my loved ones away from me at the same time.... but he made me learn that it was actually a relief for them and i should be happy... He made me the leader of the project group... which made me learnt how much I hate being the leader but maybe taught me more responsibility... He put me all alone when I am working... I know its a matter of sooner or later.. But mine came sooner than later... Tomorrow I am the only student working for that shift (or maybe there is one other yr 2 but not in the same room)... I really dunno why he keeps on liking to test me... I dunno whether I can do it.. i really hope i can cope... Another thing is that i think i am fated in this ward.. last year my uncle passed away of liver damage in the exact same ward... and i keep coming back here for attachment...