Hello... today is a nice beautiful saturday and i am actually staying at home... cleaning the house, cooking lunch, bathing my cat, cleaning her shit pan, topping up her food etc. I am always out or busy doing something during my week ends and seldom have time to stay at home like this... I must use this time to rest well before my attachment starts on Monday. I am going for my School of Health Services posting next week... so have to report to Health Promotion Board Building next Monday. Me and Alina were saying we hope we will be posted to the same primary school or secondary school. One of my friends told me he nearly vomit blood when he was posted to the secondary school... maybe cause they are quite mischievious and some can be bigger sized than you... Oh dear I very scared they bully the weak, feeble me... (like real!!!). Anyways i really hope God will bless my attachment and all those in school and attachment!!!



Anyways someone asked me wat sort of nursing I would like to major in if i get the oppurtunity. Actually I would like to experience all of them first. But I always had some sort of interest in Palliative Care. Oncology Nursing... haha... actually I also dun know why I have such an interest. Maybe its because my uncle died of cancer... or also because my very first attachment was in the cancer ward therefore my very first patient was a cancer patient. I took care of her for more than a week and I even did my care plan on her. Though she did not have much strength to talk she still responded when i talked to her. Then the following week when i came back from my week end break she passed away and i had to do her last office... i just remember I was initially quite sad and wanted to cry. But when i looked around and saw all the sad faces (full of hopelessness, full of pain and suffering) I told myself to cheer up. Hopefully, I can be the light in the darkness!!! Although their life might not be for long but as long as I am here I want to make there remaining time as comfortable and meaningful as it can be. Just be with them and help them watever is in my means.


I guess when i do something, I just do it according to how i would like someone to do it unto me... i might just be one person... I can't change every aspect of there life but i hope i can make at least a little positive difference to their lives!!!

Hey!!! Today after school I went with Alina, Eveline and Jenny to eat at Cafe Cartel. At first was a bit reluctant to go cause it seemed a bit expensive. But I am really happy that Eveline managed to persuade me to eat there... i think its worth the money and the food is really nice... We ordered the Crispy Cobo meal for 3 ppl... got fish cutlet, chicken cutlet, potato wedges, prawn fritters, chicken wings, vegetables... it was really filling... We also shared a plate of Carbonara spaghetti among the 4 of us. The spaghetti is just heavenly. I feel as if I am flying to heaven when i eat it. Actually maybe its only because I was really very happy that everything tastes so good. The spaghetti sauce is the creamy type there are mushrooms and bacon inside. And before eating we are supposed to mix it with a raw egg... But it does not taste eggish at all!!! We added lots and lots of Parmesan cheese into it!!!!! Its really superb!!!!!! and the bread rolls are nice too especially if you dip it into the spaghetti sauce...



All this food has brought me down to the topic that I should really start improving my cooking skills. It sort of stays stagnant after cooking bee hoon and fried rice. I have realised that cooking is the most practical skill to learn. Everybody has to eat but everyone likes to eat nice food. I sort of wish there was someone to push me to learn cooking. Maybe I can ask my mom during her off days but i am always busy doing something supposedly more important when she is really cooking. People like Eveline, Chan. Lianna can cook really well... Wah really envy them.... Hmmm... actually i guess it all boils down to whether you can put your heart and soul into learning how to cook...

Anyways guess wat... i seem to have gotten fatter... oh no!!! Today I going back to tkd after so long. I walk up the stairs 6 floors only will start panting. I am starting to be a big fat blob!!! Boo Hoo!!!


Anyways today I had Biology test. I have nothing much to say just that I hope that at least I got a pass... Anyways I think I will get wat is deserved of me. This shows how much effort i put in which is not alot... So its never a good idea to study last minute. Anyways i am in the computer lab but am starting to feel a bit sianz... Hope my time in tkd later will be a nice experience!!!

Sometimes i wonder why God gives us trials in life!!! But though they are painful but i am sure he has a reason for putting them in our life... I will try not to run away. Although now i am still weak I believe one day I will become a strong person! Thank you for giving me the enlightenment today... Though I could have just given up and just walked out of the classroom I chose to turn to you. And you gave me the peace in my heart to persist on. The burden was too heavy for me to carry... Though everyone was pessimistic (initially I was) but you told me that watever it is I must carry on and not give up. You replaced my dark hurt heart with hope! Its really amazing...!!! I really thank you for carrying me through this period!!! And through you I learned to give encouragment and hope to others even though it seemed bleak! Thank YOU!!!


These few days after I come back from school and feel discouraged by things happening around me I always watch this show called "Da Chang Jin"... Abt this girl who although is a palace maid in the 16th century through her persevering attitude and willingness to learn... she never gave up and in the end became the top cook in the palace. But because there were ppl who envy her, she was maligned and made a slave. But she never gave up and somehow or another she studied ancient medicine and went back to the palace. She eventually became the royal physician.
Now I am watching the part in the beginning where she is still a palace maid. And because she always get into trouble and very curious she gets into trouble and gets sent to plow the fields near the palace. Although the place is desolated and no one bothers abt it she does not give up. She is always curious about the different types of seeds to plow and ways to plow. And even when her plot of land ruined but a "mysterious" person. She does not give up but still continues.
But she never gives up her dream to become the top cook so she gets her friend to take down notes for her and she studies at night!!! This character is a real character in Korean history... Hope I can learn some of her good traits!!!

Hello. Now in the computer lab editing the leadership project but dun really have mood to do it... Over dose of project work today. Today we had to present our psychology project and i think i performed really badly. Suddenly I had mind block. Well blame it on me on not preparing well enough. Anyways I feel very bad. Maybe if not for me the group would have done better.



Maybe wat my father said is true. he always says I am as brainless as my mother. I really try very hard to prove it wrong but seems sometimes i can get very stupid. I know my father lost his job and is depressed, staying at home and always get drunk. But does he know when he get drunk he will say very hurtful things. Thats why I cannot get near my father. Even when he say those things I keep on telling myself that I must be more understanding and dun put it to heart. But sometimes I find it really unbearable to live with so much negative comments.


Everytime when he is at home i just dun feel like staying at home. Its even hard to start a conversation with him. I have to think twice before i say something to him. I try to ask him to exercise but he is too lazy. My mom ask him to find any simple job but he can't put down his pride. He just stays at home the whole day God knows doing wat besides folding and washing clothes...Haiz, I dun want to say anymore. Just feel very tired now. After all I think I will get struck down by lightning for saying these things but i dun give a damn...!!!



This month my father went back to China to sell off the house there. Its a time that I am really happy. I really feel at ease at home. I even like to go home early. Cause now my mom is waiting for her new job to start so she taking a short break at home. Everyday I will go home in anticipation wondering wat sort of nice food she will make... I really get happy easily.


But I can get sad easily too. I think one reason why I get sad so easily is because i like to keep everything to myself. Now even when sometimes my house there is my dad and mum quarelling I dun feel like saying anything unless there is a great need to.I seem to have gotten immune to it... Maybe i am just one selfish girl... Only caring about myself. Haiz. i dun care. Also dun want to think so much. Anyways my dad... i know he is someone that does not have ill intention. He just going through this rough patch and since I am the one still schooling and at home he just vents it on me sometimes. but i know he just says it in the slip of his tongue. The friggin problem lies with me...


Pray that God will heal this bitterness in my heart and I will happy and hopeful again... omorrow will be a better day!!!

Ok... Been a while since i last blogged but my last entry... Have not been feeling very inspired to write anything in the past one week... Today we finally have a free period and I just want to spend my 2 hours in school doing wat i like to do instead of continuing my projects... cause sometimes I find work can never be finished!!! I am listening to online radio 933. Last time on the way to school I used to listen to it everyday but then my discman broke down... so nowadays I just spend my bus journeys reading comics or magazines!!!



Have you ever wondered that if you can smell the wonderful food, listen to beautiful music, see beautiful things, touch and feel and taste sumptuous cooking its already a blessing... happiness does not always need to be searched upon but sometimes happiness is right here with us in front of our eyes... Happiness is right here in me!!! Its just sometimes my moodiness or tiredness overcomes it. Sometimes i feel very happy that I have God in me and he is giving me challenges to be a stronger person.

Ok. These few days quite fatigue cause i am currently shedding my endometrial lining... Its really sickening.... Arrrrrrrghhhhhh!!! I think sometimes there is not enough oxygen going to my brain...

Your element is Air: Carefree, lovable, fun and
childish. Arent you cute! Your just full of
childhood spunk and happiness! Hey who said
being young was a bad thing? You have a keen
understanding of whats good in life and choose
to remain happy rather than get too upset over
things. Life is fun, who wants to be troubled
by grown-up problems? Being as capable of love
as you are you will make a wonderful parent if
and when you choose to grow up. Love is a
mystery because you only want friends not love
interests, games are better than relationships
with the opposite sex. You have what everyone
is searching for, that so called 'fountain of
youth' deep inside. You can come across as
naive and childish at times. But who cares what
they think, lets go play tag!

.:-What is your true element?-:. -With Anime Pictures and detailed answers-
brought to you by Quizilla

I hope i always remain as happy as a child in my heart... Haha!!!

Have you ever felt times of extreme tiredness... Well I can't really explain now but i am feeling it now... and i dun feel well now... no apetite either... Haha!!! I can't understand i slept more than 6 hours... somemore drank coffee and tea just now... but i still feel so tired... Just now i was forcing myself to pay attention in class... And now i feel a bit heavy... Maybe my brain cells are depleting... Too tired to talk, too tired to smile...and i am ever soo lethargc... How come some ppl have so much energy all the day!!! So envious of them now... Even my friend Verna and Kavi was asking me why i look soo tired today (cause i usually very hyper and energetic)... My body is trying very hard to tell my brain i am full of energy... I try not to listen to my brain... Its just sooo deceiving ... My thought are sometimes my biggest enemy... Sometimes can kill a person...

And my legs are feeling soft...I wonder wat is wrong with me!!! Arrrrgh... can't stand this feeling... Oh shit!!!!!!!

Today I watched a show on abortion... have to admit it instil alot of emotions into a person... The baby very poor thing... haiz... i guess sometimes there is no right or wrong in this world... I am sure no mother would truly want to go through an abortion. The psychological impact on them must be truly overwhelming... if it was me... I dun think I can be sooo strong... But i guess everything has a reason for happening...

Hello!!!! Haiz... Sianz... i have a 8 hour break now... there are alot of things i can do on an eight hour break, and staying in school in the e paza and doing nothing much besides studying for my clinical theory test at 6... Never really finsh studying but i will try my best... later going to xiao na house to rest and relax... wish me all the best for my test!!!

Today i had to go to school for extra clinical lab lessons in school... Actually did not really wanna go but haiz... just go for the sake of going... I really hate going for classes that start at 9 cause its the peak period as everyone goes to work at that time and the buses and mrt are always crowded during this period. So I took a mrt to school today... End up I was still late by 10 minutes... Haiz... and it was so squeezy in the mrt i never got to sit until after city hall. but after that took a short but sweet less than 5 min. sleep until i reached yio chu kang...

Was not really that focused on my skills practice today. mAybe cause i was slightly tired... haha... you know lah... holiday sleep until very late... so i planning to go for practice again tomorrow. And i also dun think i did very well for my practice either... could have done better. Anyways, we dun have all the time in the world until our skills practical so i better buck up. And next week is theory clinical test so i better start studying... but i am still here lazing my time around... and as for my teacher mdm yap.. she's nice lah... just that sometimes not very used to her. I am more worried for urinary catherisation... its very easy to break the sterile field. Hafiz was doing it just now... and he broke it many times and sort of kena "scolded" by mdm yap... Then he got so nervous until his hands shaking when he inserting the urinary cathether... so poor thing. Then after that he like become a bit blur blur... like a bit traumatised. Cheer up guy. i know you can definitely do it... I have full confidence in you.

Hmm... but i also not really concentrating today... haha!!! tomorrow better go school a bit earlier to look through CBT on urinary catherisation.

Then i brought the dried fish strips to school and i was surprised everyone loved it so much... haha... next time got any rubbish food can bring to school for them to eat for me... haha...

And Mdm Yap was saying about going Sri Lanka for volunteer work... i am quite interested but dunno whether i am up to it or not... haiz... cause i never really go for this kind of thing. But can always learn but i rather someone go with me. Actually my cell grp planning to go misssion trip to china at the end of the year to build school or something like that... I quite interested in all these activities but also dun wanna be alone... haiz... then dunno abt the cost...she said school will pay 60 percent of the cost... dunno whether i can bring myself to do it... God, show me your way.
Anyways congratulations to me... I am officially a volunteer at IMH and going for the orientation soon... Anyone interested in joining too can ask me... haha!!!

After that had steam boat at zhang jin's jouse but b4 that have to buy food at ntuc... haha... had a nice time picking the food... There is such a great variety of food. Going shopping for food with chan is like going out with my mother... I bet she will make a great mother in the future. That wat i wrote in her friendster testimonial. She was very touched and happy when i said that. i can tell she really wants to find someone to spend the rest of her life with... but i wish her all the best... And I very excited in finding alina a boyfriend... haha... cause she is such a nice girl with a good character... and a target not to be missed... But sort of scared she get billied cause she very gullible (>_< ... she knows wat I mean).

We walked from ntuc to zhang jin house which was a 15 minute walk and it was sooooo hot we were all cranky and hot by the time we reached her house. We had a nice time preparing the food... Me, Alina and Chan help to wash the vegetables and peel the prawns... then zhang jin made this very nice meat pancake, eveline made japanese rice ball with crab meat inside, jiang yan made the bee hoon and ai fANg made this very nice glutinous cake that sort of taste like tapioca cake... haha... It was a very nice get together and a nice experience. We even bought champagne (sparking fruit juice). We were saying that it seems that it seems nearer and nearer the date when we have to seperate but b4 that we will treasure our time together. Jenny was also telling me the same thing that she really treasures the time with me... if i am not there there wun be anyone to smile at her everyday... haha... thanks, you have made an impact to my life too!!! And i seem to follow my jie's (Xiao Na) habit... i like to dip everything in vinegar... i love to eat vinegar... haha!!!

After that me and my sub grp sat down to discuss project while the rest watched mr bean... i was sorta distracted by the movie and got no mood to do the project. Now only got one poster to decorate and its done... Haha... Sorry... cause its a bit hard to concentrate on work after such a sumptuous meal and all the blood rush to G.I tract... so very little blood left in the brain. Then Hui fen suddenly came over to talk to me... man.. this girl is quiet but quite observant... She said i look as if i am going through a rough patch recently... haiz... can't say anything here just that recently i am having some internal struggle... maybe its just a process of growing up... She said once i decide to do something i will will be very serious then put in alot of effort but also because of this i get disapointed easily. and she hopes i will be back to my cheerful self... Dun worry.. everyone... I'll be back... Just that now there are forest fires within me and the environment is very mist and i get confused easily, but i believe soon it will be sunny again. then I will come back stronger and more persistent thatn b4... thsi is also the reason why i decided to take a break from tkd... cause in sparring you really need internal motivation to persist on. And i wanna be a good member... Anyways hui fen also told me something that shocked me... She told me that ne of her friends told her that i was a very good and fierce fighter... After this break i hope i can persist on...

And to my darling kavi... dun worry... i wun keep my troubles to myself... I still have God with me... And thanks for showing me my horoscope today (though i dun really believe much but sometimes its ok)


Don't worry if you fall down occasionally. The point is getting back up again

I will be back baby... haha... !!!

Me and my class... Just love them!!! 

Me, Lilin (great fighter), lok (great pal), and Pei jing (ok ok friend)... So happy...  

Me and Lok... Arrgh!!! help... she bully me... :( 

Me and my tkd pals... Just love them!!!