Hello... I am now in the school computer lab typing this entry... Not really sure I am happy today... cause the patient I was very close to (one of the aunties) condition suddenly turned critical and had to be resuscitated... and she did not live past the afternoon... Sorta sad cause i have been doing sponging for her these few days and I always like talking to her... When the doectors were all rushing to try to resuscitate her there was nothing i could do... After her death her corneas were taken out and I saw the whole procedure... the eye doctor cutting out the corneas from her eyes and... when they took it out there was some liquid that came out from the eye as if the aunty was crying... I can't understand how this can happen... She was so full of life yesterday.... Anyways life is so unpredictable... the room she was brought to in isolation is the exact room my uncle died in...

Anyways later I am going for tkd... Haiz... dunno why recently i become so discouraged by tkd... maybe cause i have to cope both attachment and tkd... Yesterday they were teaching me the yellow green tip pattwern and I really wanted to give up... I was sooo frustrated and stressed and just did not put in any effort and i kept making the same mistake... its also cause i was damn tired ... Hmm... is it cause i am not up to it... i am human after all... there are times when i will feel vulnerable... I just feel like running away from my weakness... Haiz... I am such a coward... And also sometimes I find i dun really fit in tkd...but seems like i am not the only person to think like that...

Anyways today a new batch of brand new ite students came for work... haha... I try to help them the best that i can... cause i know wat it feels like going out to the wards the first time ... you will feel very lost and blur... and sometimes you will get very discouraged... any form of help can lift you up... haha... and i tried giving learning oppurtunities to the year 1 student and help them the best that i can...

And today I received a compliment from the staff nurse i am working with ... she said i am very hardworking and another staff nurse she believes i will be a very good staff nurse in the future... Hope it happens... its my dream... and today on the way to school I came with ai fang and she told me I am always very passionate abt my job until sometimes I can forget to go for my breaks... haha(which happens very often)... she says i am always very energetic (actually not always) and enthusiastic... and will put a smile on ppl face... haha... i am soo flattered... hope i work towards my goal...

God Bless those around me...