Today is a very special day to me... Words cannot describe how I feel... I just have been down these past few days... But I am so happy Lok and Tuna persuaded me to go for tkd today... Today Sir Peter came for the training... I really like him but i dunno how to talk to him... He is such a fatherly figure. Anyways they were doing selection for IVP pattern team so the senior belts were supposed to spar to see who can enter the competition... I dunno why, but sir peter suddenly pointed to me asked me to go out and spar although we not required to go an sparTuna and me were the only 2 junior girls that he asked to spar... me and tuna were a bit puzzled... anyways Tuna told me not to spar with her too seriously cause she had a injured shoulder... so i did not use alot of strength... I could hear sir peter at the side telling us to use the techniques we had learned and i used a few but i could not remember much... But he did say good when he thought we did well...anyways i felt guilty having to hit tuna (actually she is quite gentle). In the end i kicked her when she was trying to block with her hand and she sorta got injured... anyways i felt guilty and was wondering whether I did anything wrong... and i asked sir peter... but he never replied me... I was feeling quite bad and got a bit irritated at Tuna when she was complaining that i scratched her hand when i was kicking and she was blocking... ( I mean how gentle can you be when sparring)... But i know i should not have been irritated at her...

I remember the previous time on the day i sprained my ankle the seniors were sparring too and sir peter who happend to come that day also asked me to go out and spar... I just think he likes to pick on me... cause its not the first time... and sometimes he looks so serious...
But today he said something which i will keep in my heart for the rest of my life... When I was leaving and saying bye to everyone he suddenly turned to me and said, "You are good you know... Keep it up... and if you practice more you will be even better.... But you must come for the trainings.!"

I believe words can sometimes build a person or break a person... This time it built me up...

Sir peter is the person I respect most... he does not give compliments easily and looks stern often... although sometimes he likes to joke around... but i never joke with him...
I remember there was once i was giving everyone chrismas sweets and i gave to him too... He suddenly looked at me and looked so touched and said, "No student has ever given me a present" ... Although it was just sweets he still looked so touched...

Recently been quite depressed after i got from pattern team cause i really had a feeling of being lousy... that i was so lousy i got eliminated... like such a louser... and recently have not been as enthusiastic when going for tkd... its only tuna, lok and kavi that bring me back... but i feel changed today... ppl believe in me... and that person's words carry more weight than any tom, dick or harry... thank you god for letting me come to tkd... and letting me know myself and slowly grow... although the process is tiring and sometimes discouraging but it is a growing process and i know you are always here with me though i always complain alot... And thank god for great friends...