Hello... hey today I have my psycho test... I almost went through it once already... but once is not enough i suppose ... must try harder... I can do it...
Yesterday I was very busy studying, then when i was tired i went online and talked to bin mei... haha... nice to talk to him... He told me instead of calling myself a sweet spinster why not call myself sweet bachelorette (actually sounds better, doesn't it)...haha... then i chanced upon fiona's blog and there was one sentence that her teacher told her that really touched me deeply too...
"u noe, there are ppl who feel very sad when they have to stay in the hosp while others are at home together... and they will yearn to do simple things in life, like going to the beach and see sun rise... but they can't accomplish it. den they will also have a picture in their house that is not yet finished...." (from fiona's blog told to her by her teacher)...
I guess in a few words it made me come to terms... I am starting to get scared about going attachment cause i always get alot of scolding and face the real world out there... Though I dun verbalise and show myself in a very strong way. cause the previous attachment i met quite alot of nasty staff but at the same time some nice ones... But all this did not seem important anymore... What is my motive for being a nurse... I will not give up even if ppl put me down... There are ppl (patients) who are struggling to live in the hospiatl and i really want to give them some hope... some warmth... some care... Although I am small my friend said I am "small in size but big in heart" ... I shall dedicate my life to bringing hope to my patients... Lord please make me a good nurse... cause i feel truly happy when helping ppl... I have a reason why i came to this course and please help me achieve it to my last breath... I am sure Fiona can do it too... cause i know you know the true feeling of staying in the hospital and facing death... for me i can only imagine... Pray that we 2 future nurses will not be too distracted by external factors press on to our goal... God Bless!!!
And from her teacher said to her it also told me to enjoy life to the last moment... I love simple things... I love simple moments with ppl, myself and the environemnt... I love rainbows, playing in the rain, sunrise, looking at stars... If you ask me to pick if i were to be the sun, moon or star... I would be a little bright shining star... cause ppl always make a wish when they see stars... Better more if i am a shooting star... some ppl believe if a couple see a shooting star they will be together for a long time... Then i can be the shooting star that brings ppl together... But then again... a star is small compared to the moon... sometimes i can choose to hide and come out when i feel like it... and although i am small i can make a vast significance in someones life (though not to everyone)... I think someone told me a story about the starfish story... it does not matter if i can't help everyone, at least i made a difference to one... I guess thats me, i dun appeal to the mass but if you know me personally you will know me better...
Fiona wants to be the moon, shining in a person's darkest moment... I think alot of ppl want to be the sun with alot of impact... Haha... i dunno why i am saying this... it just suddenly popped in my head...
Anyways I am here in the e plaza now listeningto music and typing this blog... going to go back studying soon... wish me luck in my test... later might be going ktv... and tonight got tkd... Fiona, if i see him i will tell him... that is if i see him...
Today is the last time for this sememster i came to school with kavi... my good friend... haha... Thanks for all your support all this time i have to say and i will willingly sacrifice my beauty sleep for you... the same goes for verna... i never forget you (and I watched singapore idol as you told me)... we should go out one day.,,, Hope when you come back from attachment next week to go back school you and kavi wun miss me too much... I have to say for Verna and me our friendship has really progressed although much more in poly.... as for kavi, (the poet prince) i would have to say i really enjoy sparring with you (haha... i won him in arm wrestling in sec 3)... My poly friends think he is my boyfriend or something but the thing is that we are too much of friends to be that kind of relationship... haha... cause i guess we know each other too well or something...and the idea of having that sort of relationship is plain weird... i just can't stop laughing when i think about it... (no offence, kavi) But i suppose the girl he likes and is one lucky girl... haha.. hopefully dun bully him so much...
haha... and one more thing... if someone happens to grab you by the wrist dun struggle so much... just try to pull the little finger as it has the least strength(pull it back totally)... Its damn painful... I tried it on kavi...then in thurn the other finger will relax... then you can get away... but off course maybe do a few kicks to that person b4 leaving...
Haha... ok got to go now... haha
